epic rap battles of snart
by William Ungerstein Fmerigo
Summary: ok i have no excuse for this one i'm sorry
1. reimu v sonic

**remus part;**

Hi i'm eimu and i'd ike to say

i's the shirnie maden and stay that way

gonna kcik a yorai and thne say yay

i dont ned no halation it's gona go my way

 **sonics part:**

i'm sonic fast and here to die

i ate to many chily dog and now i cry

they are spicy and make me want to sigh

my methods are obscen no gona lie

 **remus part;**

i'm the reimu, i'm faster then u

i took aya's leaf for shot tipe 2

if i had a gf in cannon that'd be sweet

but even then i got u beat

asshole

 **sonics part:**

ha you fool i've got the tool

to strike you down and build a pool

i'm sonc and i'm really good att rap

because my lines are lightning fast...ap

 **remus:**

i got a spel card

u are week

i've got 22 hundred interesting ways to end a week

like mist, or bunnies, that wanna fuck me up

also momiji is a touhou that's a pup

please don't lewd the momiji sh'es too pure

it's like being a fure... furry... uh

 **sonc:**

yo it's sonic in the house

that to rhyme with blouse

so

[rap fast]

please end my suffering, i wanna die

in a way that does not involve cherry pie

end my curse of going fast

if this keeps up i'm not gonna last

'

 **rmmus:**

if you wan die than u die fast

by going to muenzuka and having a blast

because everythigns poison you stupid bitch

you should go, uh, go in ditch

 **sonc:**

no...

no thank you

 **who won. who's next. you decide.**

 **epic rap battles of snart**


	2. clownpiece v the clown from it

**epic rap battles of snart**

 **clownpiece vs the clwon from it**

 **go**

 **piece:**

america bitch it's the place to be

it's where all the eagles take a pee

we got walls we got stalls we got lots of pitfalls

with red wite and blue we fight those commie thralls

 **it:**

i'm gonna shank you with a machete

 **piece:**

ha, dude, you forgot your mvoe

you're not a real clown you've got nothing to prove

if you were a fairy you'd go down real fast

i'm an EX boss bitch you should kiss my ass...t

 **it:**

ahahhehehehheh! ahahAHAHAHaHQHhEHEH!

 **piece:**

you're llaughs are weak, your crimes are shat

you make even danny devito look fat

your hair is wack, your ass is flat

i'm a fairy and i've got a better butt than that

there's fanart galore of me

you've got a single page

if i were a dolphin

you would be the sage

...the herb not the compliement

 **it:**

murder clown! ahahHAHaHAaha! ahahAHHahaH!

[shanks clownpiece w/ machet]

 **clown:**

you fool you should've read your books

in touhou fairies don't die, not even to hooks

if you shot me with a gun it'd probably improve my looks

 **it:**

ahahahAhahhha kill murder. i am murder clown

 **piece:**

shit, dude, what's _that_ rhyme

it's not good, like taco time

it also makes me equally constipated

and it looks to me you need your ass liberated

[eagle noise america flag clownpiece transforms into uncel sam outfit]

 **it:**

clowwndie with machete

 **who won? wo''s next? you decide**

 **epic rap battle of snart**


	3. mokou v seto kaiba

**epic rap battle of snart**

 **mokou vs. seto kaiba**

 **go**

 **mokou:**

fuck dude you're skinny

i could put you in a binny

and roast you up and sell you as food

dude

if you're rubber i'm glue and i've got plenty of crew

all you've got is a card game- boo hoo

 **seto kaiba:**

my rap game's got blue eyes, a dragon to its name

what've you got, a bird stand? that's lame

i'm the king of duel monsters, that's always the same

when people say 'kaiba' they think of my name

but that's not all, i've got a lot of dollars too

have fun with your 2 sen in your economically unstable slough

 **mokou:**

you fool you can't please poeple with a silly card game

all I need to make smiles is some meat and a flame

also i've killed an immortal moon princess like twenty billion times

so there's that, what're you gonna do with your rhymes?

 **seto kaiba:**

i tribute summon blue eyes white dragon with your rhymes and your fat ass

your rapping's so pathetic i thought i'd fucking pass

oh and that wasn't a compliment, it lowers your level by 2

so i synchro for azure eyes, who steamrolls you too

[wrry noise]

 **mokou:**

ha, you fool, you're weeb shit lord supreme

our series has got some prestige to its memes

if you don't rember hapy day, kid, you're gonna get so maimed

i activate my spell card! rise, eternal flame!

 **seto:**

uh your series is for nerds

seriously who plays shootemups this isn't the 90s

there's not even a bluee eyes white dragon

do i need to buy team shanghai alice or somehting

 **mokou:**

nonono wait don't do that-

 **who won? who's next? you decide**


	4. shikieiki v dio

**epic rap battle of snart**

 **shikieiki yamaxanadu vs. dio joestar**

we apologize in advance if cherry girls is actually a real stand

 **go**

 **shiki:**

first off, get off my stage

all you've got is senseless rage

habitually increasing

your tiny face is greasing

sweating the fetid blood of your foes

numbering in the breads they scream below

so i've got a little judgement

it'll really make you cry

when you open up this book

instead it makes you _die_

 **dio:**

that's right, it's my スタンド (sutando)

we came down from orlando

got some knives and a road roller

is that cool? i'd say it's colder

that's right it was me dio all along

i'm hijacking this pathetic song

you think you're cool? i think you're not

your attitude's totally fucking shot

i've had to deal with joestars, with stands and pillar men

if you think you've still got it, your game's just PG-10

 **shiki:**

oh look, what clever joestars

see them fighting, they never learn

how i _hate_ those joey-joeys

they make my stomach become a fern

you think you've got some power?

that's swell, but go take a shower

you're gonna feel danmaku churn

you're gonna feel that sweet sweet burn

and you're sadder than maribel hearn

 **dio:**

ha, you fool! za warudo! toki wo tomare!

with my stand, [THE WORLD]'s ability to stop time, i can defeat you

i have nine seconds of time, and with that i will stop you

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

[road roller] ROAD ROLLA DA!

(slam)

WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYY!

 **shiki:**

ha... you FOOL!

 **dio:**

nani?

 **shiki:**

Ha! Did you think _YOU_ were the only one with a STAND?

That's right, Dio.

This is my Stand's power!

[ゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴ] Activate, Stand of Mine!

[shiki's stand appear]

 **dio:**

ko...KORE WA!

 **shiki:**

THAT'S RIGHT! FEEL THE POWER OF THE LEGENDARY STAND, [CHERRY GIRLS]! WITH THIS POWER, I CAN IMPLANT A KNIFE INTO YOUR SKULL, AND EVERY TIME YOUR STAND MOVES, THE KNIFE HAS A 1/100 CHANCE TO KILL YOU! BUT THAT'S NOT ALL! EVERY TIME, THE CHANCE IS DOUBLED! AFTER EVEN JUST 5 MOVEMENTS, THE CHANCE IS 32/100! AND THEN THE SECONDARY POWER OF MY STAND ACTIVATES, WHICH CAUSES YOUR STAND TO BE PULLED APART BY THREE CHAINS ON EACH OF HIS LIMBS! EACH TIME ONE OF THESE CHAINS IS BROKEN, THAT LIMB OF THE STAND IS LOST AND ITS POWER IS REDUCED ACCORDINGLY! YOU FOOL! BUT THAT'S NOT ALL! THEN, I WILL ACTIVATE MY HIDDEN ABILITY, [MEGA JUDGEMENT], AND OPEN THE VERY GATES OF HELL BENEATH YOU, POWERING UP MY STAND BY 5000%! WITH THIS POWER, [CHERRY GIRLS] BECOMES [CHERRY GIRLS OVER HELL]! THIS ALLOWS MY STAND TO PLACE A KNIFE WITHIN THE HEAD OF UP TO TWENTY NEARBY PEOPLE, ACTIVATING THE EFFECT WHENEVER THEY MOVE! BUT THIS ISN'T THE END OF IT- I CAN PLANT ALL TWENTY KNIVES IN ONE HEAD, MEANING THAT EVEN AFTER TWO MOVEMENTS, THE CHANCE IS 80/100! FOOLISH DIO! FOR THAT IS NOT ALL! WITH MY ROD OF JUDGEMENT, I CAN FURTHER INCREASE MY STAND'S POWER, MAKING [CHERRY GIRLS OVER HELL] BECOME [GREAT JUDGEMENT: CHERRY GIRLS OVER HELL DX]! THIS ALLOWS MY STAND TO SUMMON UP TO TWENTY MORE KNIVES IN THE HEADS OF THOSE WHO HAVE COMMITED SEVERE SINS, SUCH AS YOURSELF!

 **DIO:**

BUT! HOW DID YOU DODGE MY ULTIMATE ATTACK!

 **SHIKI:**

HMPH! THAT IS SIMPLE! YOU DON'T SEEM TO REALIZE THE SHEER SCALE OF [GREAT JUDGEMENT: CHERRY GIIRLS OVER HELL DX]! IT STANDS AT OVER TWENTY TIMES THE HEIGHT OF THE SPACE NEEDLE, TIMES A MILLION!

 **DIO:**

HA! THAT WON'T STOP ME! MY STAND, [ZA WARUDO], HAS THE ABILITY TO FREEZE TIME FOR NINE SECONDS! IN THAT TIME, I COULD NOT ONLY KILL [GREAT JUDGEMENT: CHERRY GIRLS OVER HELL DX], BUT KILL YOU TOO, NOW THAT I KNOW YOUR SECRETS AND ABILITIES!

 **SHIKI:**

N-NANI?

 **DIO:**

SOU DA! KORA WA ORE NO SUTANDO DA!

 **SHIKI:**

JUST KIDDING, YOU FOOL!

 **DIO:**

WHAAAT?

 **SHIKI:**

[GREAT JUDGEMENT: CHERRY GIRLS OVER HELL] HAS ALREADY PLACED FIVE HUNDRED KNIVES IN YOUR HEAD. YOU HAVE ALREADY LOST

 **DIO:**

[explodes into knives]

 **who won? who's next**

 **nobody i hope**


	5. reisen v inspector gadget

**epic rap battle of snart**

 **reisen vs. inspector gadget**

 **go**

 **gadget:**

i'm better than you, so i should start the rap battle!

[begins to rap]

i'm gadget boys and i'm here to rap

and the way this is lookin' i'll get an ass to tap

i'm cybernetic, energetic, and attractive too

it'll take me minutes to eviscerate you

you little poo

the only thing i hate more than those dang MAD agents

would have to be those rappers that think they're rapping regents

 **rei:**

hi i'm reisen inaba, and i'm here for the yakogoro clinic

this gadget fellow thinks this shit is a picnic

i've got drugs to sell man get out of my way

or my red eyes of madness'll make you hit the hay-

 **gadget:**

you can shut up now.

[gunshot]

oh look, some free drugs

 **who won?**

 **who's next?**

 **you decide**

 **[you can actually suggest things in a review if you want]**


	6. unzan v republic of turkey

**epic rap battles of snart**

 **unzan vs. the republic of turkey**

 **go**

 **zan:**

bugguuuuuu!

 **turkey:**

turkeymon, turkeymon!

 **who won?**

 **neither of them**

 **next rap**


End file.
